There was an interesting albeit sad question on AVVO the other day about a mother who can get the father of their child to stop doing drugs in the home. She tried to throw away the marijuana he smokes and they got into a tussle and she called the police. I don't know if she called the police via 911 or if she filed a petition for an injuction against domestic violence on behalf of their child, or her, or both. These are also called "stay-away orders" and "restraining orders".

The problem is now that the Florida Department of Children and Families wants to come for an interview to see if the child is being neglected or abused. The officer will probably ask them if the drink and do drugs. If they say no, then the officer will most likely ask them to do a drug test. If the mother and father say no to that the officer will be suspicious and think they do drugs and maybe ask the judge for an order for drug testing. If mom and dad say they do drugs then they are admitting to a crime. This is a catch-22 or being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The other problem is that it seemed like the mother wanted to change things so that her and dad would give up drugs, but dad does not seem to want to. So when the officer comes for the interview, I imagine mom will be saying we would like help, but dad may be sitting there shaking his head no saying, "We don't need help, it's not big deal, it won't happen again, we are fine, it was a misunderstanding . . ", etc.  Then the officer will see that mom and dad don't agree and this is the reason they get into arguments and fights in the first place.

The DCF officers are not dummies and they have heard every excuse and lie in the world. I felt bad for the mother becasue she may have to decided who is more important, her baby or the baby's father. We want children to have a mother and a father, but not a bad mother or father. The standard is Florida is "the best interest of the child." As I told this mother, I said, usually the best interest of the child is to have both parents. But if the parents behavior becomes very neglectful or abusive, then the best interest of the child is probably for the child to be out of there and living with another family member or put up for adoption.

If you are going to get interviewed by DCF, it may be in your best interest to have an attorney present to speak for you, much like a police investigation or interrogation so that the attorney can filter questions and check out the demeanor of the DCF officer. Some DCF officers want to help, but some may be aggressive and have a grudge agasinst parents who they think are unfit parents and COULD try to find as many ways as possible to determine that mom and dad are unfit parents. The DCF officers have a lot of persuasive powers with the court and can recommend anything from anger management to drug counseling or that the child be taken away.